Then she found out that her first husband had a child with another woman … so she lured that kid’s acting father to a barn (again with the barn!)…

telling him she had found some papers related to the child. Once there, she opened fire on him, according to his account, and chased him across the hayfields until she ran out of ammunition. According to Mr. Walker’s statement to the police, she said she would kill him and the child’s mother and raise the child herself. [NYT]

She is a Knoxville favorite. Most likely to succeed. In prison.

More from the New York Times. Trail of Death!

Christopher Bryan Speight murders 8 in Appomattox, Virginia, rigs home with explosives before surrendering to police… (Washington Post)

A Pakistani couple murdered their 4-month-old baby girl in a black magic ritual to get rich. They were apparently about to kill their toddler as well, when neighbors heard the screams and broke through the door. Fine idea, folks. Congrats on your success.

More from BBC and The News.
AMAZING translation at My Daily Global News.

Their punishment should include having 30 or more rusty sewing needles stuck in their own bodies. Without wine to dull the pain.

More from NYT.

More from O Globo and O Estado de São Paulo (in Portuguese).

Veronica Deramous kept her victim bound with duct tape until she was ready to to cut the baby out with a razor blade and box cutters.

Sometime over the weekend, police said, Deramous turned up the volume on the TV, shoved a rag in the woman’s mouth and put a piece of tape over it. Then she uttered a chilling warning.

“You’re strong,” Deramous told her victim, according to police. “You can handle what I’m going to do to you.” [WP]

Clearly after all that, Deramous needed a nap, and the still pregnant — still CUT OPEN — woman was able to escape.

Deramous has been arrested. Mother and child are recovering.

Deramous’ 17-year-old son had no clue what was going on in the back bedroom. Right.

More from the Washington Post: Md. woman arrested after trying to cut out fetus of captive

If your wee dainty hands are prone to chill, warm ‘em up with a “classy” monkey fur muff!

eBay has SEVERAL bidding opportunities for the discerning shopper.

So stick your hands in a decades-dead monkey. It’s hot. And arguably more disgusting than a psycho who goes on a shooting spree after Thanksgiving dinner.

Rather than enjoying a postprandial snooze, Paul Michael Merhige opened fire on his family, killing his two sisters (twins, one of whom was pregnant), an aunt, and a 6-year-old cousin. Holidays are hell.

More on Merhige from the Palm Beach Post.

Sick tag: monkey muff

It happened earlier this month to a 10-year-old, whose mother had called the police because the girl was “on the floor of the house screaming and crying.” Haven’t we all been there? And when the little girl wouldn’t calm down and obey her mother, mommy told the nice police officer to use his taser. Which he did.

Glory be praised, I think we’ve found a new “baby sitter” to replace the TV. Taze the little wretches into submission!

More from Arkansas Democrat-Gazette.

When the police searched his car:

The search revealed a sex enhancement drug and some sex toys. According to the report, Corning told [Officer] Wines he had a prescription for the medication and the other items were always in the car “just in case.” [The State]

Kudos on your candidness, sirrah! For that, we’ll just forget this incident ever happened. And if anyone asks, we’ll keep insisting that the POLICE OFFICER DID NOTHING WRONG. Wtf?? That is seriously in several different articles. Who was the dude having sex in the cemetery and running away from the police? CORNING. But let’s make sure everyone understands “there is no indication of any wrongdoing of the officer.” [The State]

And either the craziness is spreading, or this lady wants to get in on the South-of-the-border action. Congratulations, Virginia. You’ve spread the shame across both Carolinas.

Sick tag:  cemetery sexcapades

Oh Mother Nature…

Would you believe that FECAL ARMOR can successfully repel predators? You betcha! It can certainly successfully repel ME.

Case-bearing leaf beetle mommies will lay their eggs in individual poo pods that they create themselves with their genitalia. Now I mean obviously the poo comes from the back door, but there’s a structure on their no-no that squishes the poo into place. Elegant.

Later the young beetles will pop their heads and legs out of their poo pods, but they keep wearing them. It’s a defense mechanism, since nobody wants to eat little turds — even if they have delicious bugs inside.

Sick tags:  fecal armor, mouthparts

And if you need cheering up, at least you aren’t blind and nose-less from being mauled by a chimp.