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Playboy playmate Paula Sladewski murdered and left burning in dumpster… (pretty standard: Palm Beach Post; more salacious: CBS News)

Christopher Bryan Speight murders 8 in Appomattox, Virginia, rigs home with explosives before surrendering to police… (Washington Post)

When cousins marry…

A Pakistani couple murdered their 4-month-old baby girl in a black magic ritual to get rich. They were apparently about to kill their toddler as well, when neighbors heard the screams and broke through the door. Fine idea, folks. Congrats on your success.

More from BBC and The News.
AMAZING translation at My Daily Global News.

Brazilian Roberto Carlos Magalhaes repeatedly stuck sewing needles into his 2-year-old former stepson, after drugging him with watered wine so he wouldn’t cry. And by “stuck” I mean INSERTED all the way and left them there. His new girlfriend (Angelina Ribeiro dos Santos) helped him come up with the idea, and Magalhaes “told detectives that dos Santos would enter into trances and give him commands to insert the needles”. Yes, their love was so healthy and normal that they tried to kill a toddler to get revenge on the child’s mother.

Their punishment should include having 30 or more rusty sewing needles stuck in their own bodies. Without wine to dull the pain.

More from NYT.

More from O Globo and O Estado de São Paulo (in Portuguese).

A psychopath in Maryland kidnapped a pregnant, homeless woman and attempted to cut the fetus out of her body — after holding her captive for nearly 5 days. Qu’est-ce que fuck?!

Veronica Deramous kept her victim bound with duct tape until she was ready to to cut the baby out with a razor blade and box cutters.

Sometime over the weekend, police said, Deramous turned up the volume on the TV, shoved a rag in the woman’s mouth and put a piece of tape over it. Then she uttered a chilling warning.

“You’re strong,” Deramous told her victim, according to police. “You can handle what I’m going to do to you.” [WP]

Clearly after all that, Deramous needed a nap, and the still pregnant — still CUT OPEN — woman was able to escape.

Deramous has been arrested. Mother and child are recovering.

Deramous’ 17-year-old son had no clue what was going on in the back bedroom. Right.

More from the Washington Post: Md. woman arrested after trying to cut out fetus of captive

Today’s bit o’ sick: monkey muffs.

If your wee dainty hands are prone to chill, warm ‘em up with a “classy” monkey fur muff!

eBay has SEVERAL bidding opportunities for the discerning shopper.

So stick your hands in a decades-dead monkey. It’s hot. And arguably more disgusting than a psycho who goes on a shooting spree after Thanksgiving dinner.

Rather than enjoying a postprandial snooze, Paul Michael Merhige opened fire on his family, killing his two sisters (twins, one of whom was pregnant), an aunt, and a 6-year-old cousin. Holidays are hell.

More on Merhige from the Palm Beach Post.

Sick tag: monkey muff

OK, so a lot of sick shit has gone down since I last posted. A family was killed by a loser douchebag horror-core fan (he’s been indicted); a bunch of missing people were found dead and decomposed in Cleveland (tip: keep your rotting bodies in a house next to a sausage factory, who’ll know??); it was the 50 year anniversary of the brutal “In Cold Blood” murders; a possible jihadist / possible dude-with-major-problems killed 13 people at Fort Hood, TX; the Vice President’s motorcade killed a pedestrian; the DC sniper was finally executed; but what’s REALLY sick is an Idaho prosecutor and GOP bigwig pleaded guilty to stalking his girlfriend and throwing no less than TEN semen-filled condoms on her yard. And he’s 56 years old. DUUUDE.

And if you need cheering up, at least you aren’t blind and nose-less from being mauled by a chimp.

When she determined her daughters were possessed by demons, Banita Jacks killed them. All FOUR of them. Ok, allegedly.

The four bodies were discovered in her home in January 2008, when police arrived to deliver an eviction notice. They’d been dead and decaying in an upstairs bedroom for nearly SEVEN MONTHS.

Jacks, 35, told police that she did not kill the girls and that they died in their sleep “one at a time” over a 10-day period, charging documents said. Jacks said the girls were “possessed with demons” and referred to her oldest daughter, Brittany, as a Jezebel, the wicked biblical character. (WP)

More about the woman who knows crazy at Washington Post.

After starving Javon Thompson to death (he forgot to say “Amen” after his meal — clearly a demon child), his mother and other members of a Baltimore-area cult carried his remains around in a suitcase. If only they had enough faith, he’d be raised from the dead.

If little Javon is resurrected — Jesus-style only, reincarnation doesn’t count — charges against his mother will be dropped. Good luck with that. 

Strange things do happen though. Like when Javon’s mother, Ria Ramkissoon, joined a CULT (1 Mind Ministries) lead by a woman calling herself Queen Antoinette. Kooky.

More from The Baltimore Sun.

Sunday morning, Robert Stewart shot and killed 8 people in a North Carolina nursing home. Grandparents, people in wheelchairs! What a total fuckface. Seven of the people he killed were elderly patients, 1 was a nurse.

“He came in with a shotgun, a rifle and a couple other kinds of weapons and he just went around shooting people, people in wheelchairs and this type of thing,” Sen. Harris Blake of the North Carolina State Assembly said. “This could not be any more barbaric.” (ABC)

More from ABC. Photos at North Carolina’s News & Observer.

PS – ABC, you’re not a tabloid. “Carnage in Carthage” is a tacky headline.

Pathetic doucheface Craig Bennett was found guilty of kidnapping and raping a child, AGAIN. He tricked a 12-year-old boy into helping him find his dog, took him to an “isolated woodland area”, and raped and strangled him. (Not to death!)

This is his second conviction for this type of crime. Back in 1993, he kidnapped and assaulted a 13-year-old boy.

Maybe this time they’ll KEEP HIM IN JAIL!

More from Sky News.